“Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time.”~ Maya Angelou

As with every activity in life, dating has rules that should guide both parties involved. What are some of the acceptable and unacceptable rules when it comes to dating? The world has so evolved and the dating game has changed. When I was single and still mingling, I read a lot of christian books about dating (courting). I used these books as the guiding principle when I went on dates. Please indulge me while I share some of my dating experiences. A married friend of mine was always trying to match make me so I could join her on the married side. She set me up with a blind date, an acquaintance of hers. I’m a time conscious person, hence I got to the restaurant before the acquaintance. The wait for him wasn’t that bad, but immediately he came into the restaurant, I prayed he was not my date. First thing, he was a little shorter than I am. I’m 5’5, not a tall female. Hence, my preference was for guys taller than I was. Secondly, this dude came in with a bounce to his step. He was literally  bouncing into the restaurant. Turn off number two. Let me be honest, I was cordial and polite but I knew there would not be a “see you next time” after that first date. Another experience was when a date kept me waiting for over an hour. Chile!!!! There was no next date after.

In this day when women are striving to be treated equally with men, there might be some confusion about expectations when dating. I know a friend who says she feels insulted anytime a guy takes her out and picks up the tab. She can pay for herself and feels any guy who pays for her is being too forward thinking she can’t pay her bills. I don’t really agree with this thinking. Generally speaking, I personally don’t think guys ask ladies on dates thinking the lady can’t pay for herself. It’s courtesy to invite a person out and pay for that person. Also, I know of a friend who hates a guy opening doors for her. I still find this funny as I thought every woman loved when a man opens the door for her. She says she feels this is very presumptuous of the guy as he assumes every female wants the guy to open the door (I thought so too).

When dating, is it right for the guy to ask the female to cook for him after a few dates? I know of a lady who was livid because a guy she had gone out with a few times and liked, politely asked her to cook for him. I was actually surprised she was angry because when dating most Nigerian men, they will want you to cook for them at some point and the parties involved are Nigerians. This is like a standard operating procedure when dating some (I won’t generalize by saying all, there will be exceptions) Nigerian men. On the other hand, a guy I knew once told me he would have forced me into the kitchen to cook for him if he had not eaten at his mum’s place. Now, that was a very different scenario. I took this attitude as several strikes against him. Not because I can’t cook, but because of his approach. He could have politely asked me to cook, that would have been different. The fact he felt he could “force” me to cook for him, turned me off completely.

A major change in dating is the emergence of online dating sites. More people are comfortable using online dating to meet that special person. Call me old fashioned but I still want that face to face interaction at all times. More often than not people let their imaginations run wild when online because they can hide behind their computers. Some people don’t use their pictures, some Photoshop their pictures to deceive others and some just outright lie on their profiles. There should be some form of decorum that comes with online dating. I think the first should be to use your own pictures!!! The risk of being conned is very glaring when dating online.

I can say the fundamental principles for dating have not changed. Treating each other with respect, politeness and making eye contact are still as important. Also important to note is that each individual is unique in his/her own way. Hence, make no presumptions and you won’t be looking like an ass!!!