“The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him.” ~Anonymous

So recently I attended a bridal shower and when the games were over, it was time to get real. Time to give the bride-to-be some real-life bits of advice she could carry with her on her matrimonial journey. She got some really good advice until someone in the group said she should treat her husband-to-be like a baby as “all men are babies.” I had to halt and disagree with this piece of advice. I stood up and said, “no, men are not babies.”  My statement created a detour from giving the bride-to-be advice to a brief discussion about why men are or are not babies.

First, I will say why place such a huge burden on any bride-to-be? Which woman starts a relationship saying “I know I’m dating a baby because all men are babies?” Would you date a baby? A relationship/marriage is meant for two matured minds, not one female matured mind and one baby mind. With this notion that men are babies, we already give them excuses for all wrong behaviors because as babies, they have no idea what the repercussions of their actions will be (cue in Tristan Thompson). When a woman makes such a statement, the burden is on her alone to make the relationship work because if men are babies, women are the matured ones in the relationship and if a baby does not get his way, he whines and throws tantrums. And if the relationship doesn’t work out, surely it’s the fault of the woman who should have been the matured party and do all she can to make the relationship work. Okay, so maybe some guys throw tantrums and whine but these guys should be the exception to the rule and not the rule for all guys.

Second, I didn’t date and marry a baby. I married a man. A grown man who is very much aware of the consequences of wrong choices. The burden to make the relationship work is not placed solely on me, no. We both share that burden. When I have conversations with my husband, I need a matured mind, not a man who comes to the table with the mentality that he is a baby and should be breastfed, diapered and pampered.

Lastly, please let’s do away with the notion that men are babies. We should not encourage such advice as good as it may sound. You don’t baby a man, you don’t date or marry a baby. That might be the reason why we have men who are overgrown babies walking around looking for who to baby them as they were never properly detached from their mother’s breasts.