Love is blind, hence distance should not be a barrier right? During a recent discussion, a friend outrightly stated she had no interest whatsoever in long distance relationships. Her experience has taught her that guys cannot be trusted when there’s no distance involved in the relationship so why should she get hypertensive by dating a guy who she has to take a plane ride to go see? “Love hates distance.”

I’ve had my fair share of the long-distance dating experience. When I met my husband, he lived in Boston while I lived in Maryland and we had a very brief long-distance relationship. As he was not a phone person and we were miles apart, the relationship at first died a natural death. Years later, the relationship survived when he moved down to Maryland. Long distance relationships are hard and sometimes take a toll on both parties. It’s great when one partner visits the other; that time feels like stolen moments you never want to end, but reality kicks in and it’s time to leave your beloved once again. How do long distance relationships survive the test of time? Is there a hard and fast rule to overcome the obstacles of a long distance relationship and get to a happy ending?

Two important requirements (amongst others) for the success of any relationship are commitment and trust. I’ll skip love because I’m assuming when two people agree to be in a relationship, they love each other. Hence, I find it strange for a couple to be in a long distance relationship and one party does not trust the other. I will put in a disclaimer, even when you trust your partner, it does not mean s/he is faithful, but the element of trust takes away some of the feelings of uneasiness and anxiety in a relationship. I know of a friend whose relationship survived the long distance realm. She’s happily married to the man with whom she was in the long-distance relationship. He lived in London, she lives in the States. I know they both invested a lot of time and money to make the relationship work. This relationship was particularly challenging because of the time difference. London is five to six hours ahead. They both spent a lot of time on the phone and visited each other at least every three months. When they finally got married and he relocated to be with her, she said it was as if they were starting to date all over again but this time around, it was more convenient and easy as the distance had been bridged.

If you are considering a long distance relationship, please know that it takes a lot of trust, time, patience, and dedication to have a successful relationship. If you’re a person who hates being on the phone or who cannot invest his/her time in communicating, then long distance or dating as a whole may not be for you. For any relationship, communication is a major player. I know of a lady who broke up with her boyfriend because he hardly wore his hearing aid when they were together and she felt he was deliberately trying to frustrate the communication in their relationship. This couple lived close to each other, but his persistent lack of wearing his hearing aid and his girlfriend having to continuously repeat what she said or not being able to have a conversation with him, nuked the relationship.

Being in a relationship is hard work. Being in a long-distance relationship is even harder work. There are no hard and fast rules to making long-distance relationships work. Each person has a 100% responsibility to communicate and do all s/he can to fuel the relationship and bridge the distance. As we all know; absence makes the heart grow fonder (Francis Davison).