“If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it.” ~Epictetus

Abike has a very large heart, always looking for ways to help those around her and make a positive impact. She has sister-in-law (Kike) who she gets along with and is older than Abike. Kike lives in the United States, went through a bitter divorce and has been looking for love. I guess because she was in her late forties, she sometimes appeared a little desperate to get married to the men she related with. All Kike’s past love interests are based in Nigeria although a majority of her family members are based in Nigeria. After numerous heart breaks from men in Nigeria, Kike finally found love in a younger man also based in Nigeria (Rotimi). Now Rotimi from the onset, starts asking Kike to send money to him for his upkeep. He knows how to sweet talk Kike to get what he wants from her. Kike is a nurse, doing very well financially, so she didn’t mind sending Rotimi money if and when he needed it.

Rotimi suggests Kike travels down to Nigeria to see his family and start making wedding preparations less than three months after they start their long distance relationship. There is one caveat though, Rotimi asks Kike not to let any of her family members or friends know she will be travelling down to Nigeria as he knows family members and friends will discourage her from wedding preparations because he is too young for her, they just met, he is just after her money and a stay in the United States and nobody knows how they both feel except the two of them. Kike is very close to Abike, trusts her and knows Abike is always looking out for her best interest. The only person Kike tells of Rotimi’s plans for her to travel to Nigeria without her family’s knowledge is Abike. Of course Abike is quick to smell something fishy. Abike’s major concern was why Rotimi asked Kike not to inform her family members she would be travelling to meet a stranger, in a different town, alone and with money for wedding preparations. Abike knows the potential danger that lies ahead of Kike but has been sworn to secrecy by Kike. Abike advises Kike to not make this trip or at least take a family member with her to Rotimi’s hometown or at least inform family members in Nigeria of her intending trip. Kike bluntly refuses. Kike’s plans are in high gear, she already bought her ticket to Nigeria, and was shopping for items for Rotimi and his family.

Abike’s husband (Dipo) is Kike’s younger brother who Kike highly respects. Knowing the potential danger of her trip, Abike in desperation informs her husband, who then informs family members in Nigeria. Right before her intended trip, Kike gets a call from Dipo and he is furious at her, in plain words, tells her how dumb her plan to travel out of the country to meet a man she has never met before without informing her family members sounds and seriously advises her of all that could potentially go wrong. Of course you know this conversation did not go down well with Kike who thought she could trust Abike with her secret. She sent a lengthy text message to Abike regretting confiding in her and called her a backstabber. She stated Abike is dead to her and should never get in touch with her ever again.

Abike felt so bad as she knew she had done what was in Kike’s best interest but felt she had betrayed her by revealing the information to Dipo. Abike showed me the text message from Kike and I told her she had made the right decision. I asked if she would have preferred to hear Kike was kidnapped while in Nigeria by Rotimi and his people or any other bad news about Kike when she had the information to protect her sister-in-law. Of course she did not want anything bad to happen to Kike, hence the so-called betrayal of trust. In reality, was Abike a backstabber or a loyalist? Was she both a backstabber and a loyalist? If you reveal a person’s secret to protect that person, what does that make you? A backstabber or a loyalist?