“The companion of an evening, and the companion for life, require very different qualifications.”~ Samuel Richardson

A few days ago, my daughter was rummaging through my book collection. I don’t get rid of books I’ve read. This particular day, my daughter pulls out a sheet of paper stuck in-between some pages of a particular book. I took the paper from her and straightened it out and I smiled. On this sheet of paper, I’d written down my list of requirements/qualities I wanted in a life partner. I must admit, this list brought back memories of expectations prior to getting married. I smiled when I looked through the qualities on this list. “Not bad at all.” I thought to myself. I wonder how many people nowadays have a list of requirements when looking for a life partner. This list does not have to be written, it can be a mental check-list you have while dating. I feel everyone has a mental check-list when it comes to dating.  At least, you have expectations about who you date. I’ve known women who had lists of what they expect from their life partners although I don’t think women are the only ones who have check-lists.

Having a checklist is, of course, a good idea. Now, sticking to that checklist and not willing to bend a little from any characteristic on that list might not be a good idea.  For example, if a lady’s list includes God fearing, faithful, bald and handsome, is it a bad idea to maybe deviate slightly from some of these requirements?  Hopefully, she will not be willing to bend on the God-fearing requirement, but what if she meets a God-fearing man, who she feels is not too handsome or not bald? What character traits are okay to bend a little on a list of requirements for a life partner? And what about list requirements some people might feel are outrageous? For example, a requirement that the person should be a billionaire or extremely wealthy while the person who made the list is barely making ends meet? There’s this saying “to each his/her own.” A person who has lived all his/her life in poverty and sees no chance of escaping this plight might include such a requirement as a means of escape. Realistically, most people want a person who is financially stable, has the potential or is applying the potential for financial stability.

So did my husband tick all the qualities/requirements on my list? No, but I actually never noticed these other requirements until I re-read the list again. Sometimes, we should be willing to bend some of our requirements for a life partner. A word of caution though, we are all unique individuals. Hence, there might be some requirements I might be willing to bend on but for someone else, these requirements/qualities are not negotiable. I was once told of a female whose list of requirements in a partner was almost impossible to meet. Also, she was unwilling to bend on any qualities. I stated the only way she could meet this mystery man is if she created him herself. So, as of today, she is still single and searching for all the characters on her list in one man. As with everything in life, we have expectations but when our expectations are not realistic or not completely met, we have a choice. When life gives you lemons do you make lemonades or whine about lemons not being as sweet as oranges?