“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?”~ Abraham Lincoln

Today at church, I overheard a conversation between two ladies. One was narrating to the other about how her husband’s friend betrayed him. How this guy was supposed to have been like a brother to her husband. After narrating the story of what this ex-friend did, she then made a profound statement. She said in life, our friends generally belong to two categories- Peter and Judas. When Peter hurts you, he is repentant and remorseful afterwards and his betrayal is not planned. When a Judas hurts you, it is always well planned and a Judas is never repentant. A Judas spends his/her life silently betraying you, until maybe eventually exposed. Now, she made this comparison based on the betrayal of Jesus by both Peter and Judas. Her statement was profound to me because it made a lot of sense.

We all have friends who are true to us and will always defend us, but there are times such friends slip up and it appears they did not have our backs/back stabbed us. These same friends are always quick to amend and repair the relationship. You can tell they genuinely did not intend for the storm their betrayal caused. These types of friends, we should be willing to take back when they err and forgive them and keep the friendship going, after all, we humans are not perfect. Those friends that fall into the Judas category are the ones we should really watch out for. They come in disguise, acting like they have your best interest at heart, and at the slightest opportunity, they strike, hurt you and quickly try to cover up their tracks so they don’t get caught. Sometimes, you may never know the friend you so trusted is a Judas, and other times, some of us are lucky that circumstances make us aware of their true nature and we cut off all ties with such supposed friends.

A friend told me of an incident that happened sometime ago. She has a friend who was out-of-town for a week. She called this friend one evening and over heard a male voice in the hotel room. Now, she knows her friend was not dating and thought she traveled by herself. She teased her and asked who the male in the room was. She got the shocker of her life when her friend told her with whom she went on the trip with. Another friend’s husband! The man told his wife he was attending a work conference out-of-state. Yes, that’s a true Judas. The sorrowful part of this is I know the parties involved and when we meet at social gatherings, this Judas is so very respectful towards this man’s wife. Smiling, hugging, gisting, laughing and so close to the wife. The wife on the other hand thinks she has a very good friend. She might be willing to vouch for this Judas that she is a very decent person. Only if she knew!!!

Sometimes in life, we are blessed to sniff out the Judas in a friend, and we use wisdom when dealing with that friend from then on. The word for a Judas is frenemy. There is a saying “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” That’s the best way to handle a Judas in your life. Once you can identify a Judas/frenemy in your life, you hold the key to locking him/her in a corner. You have to know the different character traits among your friends. A Peter friend is worth holding onto and fostering a deeper bond and relationship with. A Judas friend on the other hand is like a green snake under a green grass. Always slithering around, looking for how to penetrate you and hurt you without your knowledge. Make the Judas think s/he is a Peter and apply wisdom to that friendship before you are sold for pennies on the dollar.