“The time when domestic violence is the most lethal is when the person is trying to leave the situation.” ~ Julie Johnston

“Shouldn’t there be more distaste in our mouths for the abusers than for those who continue to love the abusers?” ~ Colleen Hoover

Have you ever wondered why a woman will remain in an abusive relationship for years taking the mental, emotional and physical torture? Well… A little introduction, Battered Woman Syndrome (BWS) is a mental disorder that develops in victims of domestic violence as a result of serious, long-term abuse. I had the opportunity to write my final law school paper on BWS disorder after very extensive research and counseling of some actual victims at a pro bono clinic. A major source of discomfort for me in my research and findings was victim blaming (why can she not just leave the relationship). Okay, before I go further, let me chip this is in; the American legal system does not recognize BWS as a legal defense but evidence of battering and its effect is used to assist the jury in its determination of its verdict as to the claim of self-defense or insanity from the victim.

This article will focus specifically on women and the BWS disorder and the need for help after she kills her abuser. Who is a battered woman? There is no one profile fits all as a woman from any social class can fall victim. Why should a woman who kills a man in cold blood be given a reduced sentence? You see, a battered woman has endured years of abuse from her abuser. The abuser has knocked out any self-esteem the victim has. He has isolated her from family, friends and loved ones and has systematically made the victim believe she is the cause of the abuse. Additionally, the victim feels shame from not being able to manage her relationship and keeping the batterer happy. For the batterer, it is all about power and control, and for the victim, it is about making the relationship work. There are some women who have gone through the cycle of violence and have had the courage to break free from the abuser. Do you know that a majority of the time when the victim leaves, her chances of being killed by her abuser significantly increases as the abuser feels he has lost control of his victim?

BWS is a broad issue that cannot be completely understood in one short article because to better under this disorder, one has to know about learned helplessness, the cycle of violence, and Stockholm syndrome. This article is to raise awareness that such a disorder does exist and victim blaming should be stopped. There are cases of victims suffering from BWS killing their abusers when the abusers could not defend themselves i.e when he is asleep, drunk, or inebriated. What society fails to understand is a battered woman is trapped in her own fear and thinks each beating will end her life. She lives in constant fear of the abuser. A victim who suffers from BWS does not need to be sent to a mental institution, rather she needs therapy to unlearn her learned helplessness.