“A wife who discomforts you with truth is better than a mistress who massages you with lies.” ~ Matshona Dhliwayo

“Some men are dogs; some dogs are women.” ~ Mokokoma Mokhonoana (emphasis added)

I read the story of a wife who wrote on a popular Instagram page about how wonderful her husband has been to her. See, it was his birthday and she gushed about the iPhone and car he recently bought for her and how he takes very good care of her. She also stated that although he was out-of-town, she missed him and couldn’t wait to celebrate with him when he gets back. A few minutes after this post was uploaded, a female contacted the owner of the page and said she had juicy information based on the birthday post. The female came on this page to disgrace the so-called happy wife. She gave details of what this so called perfect husband wore the day he traveled and said the wife was living in a fool’s paradise as it was she (the mistress) who picked out the iPhone and car the husband bought for the wife. She further stated the husband was celebrating his birthday with her, he did not go for an official trip. This mistress gave a whole lot more sordid details about this couple. So, there it is. The wife was disgraced and shamed for praising her husband and living in a fool’s paradise.

Mistresses!!!! Oh, my bad, the trend is to call them side chicks/dishes. The name has evolved. Now, this post is directly to address the trending phenomenon known as side chicks. It is not to address the irresponsible/stupid men who harbor them. That will be part 2 of this article. There’s a saying that “women are their own worst enemies.” I stand with that saying. How does a woman derive joy and fulfillment from tormenting her fellow woman? In the previous paragraph, the side chick boldly came out to shame the legitimate wife. I cannot fathom how a woman who is self-confident, has self-respect and values hard work, will allow a man place her in a lowly position as not a legitimate wife, nor a legitimate girlfriend, but an illegitimate product born out of lust, greed and a complete lack of self-control.

What are the benefits of being a side chick? Money, attention, sex. What are the disadvantages of being a side chick? Karma (oh, she is definitely waiting patiently for you), generational curses on your lineage, anxiety (he promised to leave his wife for you but this hasn’t happened yet), incurring the wrath of God, and a man telling you the best you can be is a side dish. There’s a saying from where I come from that “the broom that was used to sweep the first wife is still behind the door to sweep the second wife.” So, even though the husband divorces the first wife to marry the side chick, that broom is steady and waiting to sweep you out for another side chick to take your place. When you play the role of a side chick, know that you are sowing a seed for your children. Your offspring will reap the fruit of what you have sown. Numbers 14:18(b) states “…Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation” (NIV).

As a side chick/dish, you have to know your place in the life of the husband. You, my dear are not woman enough to be a wife. No, not even on your best days! You will always be placed on the side line, be a side thought. I beg to ask, have women no morals anymore than to come on social media to shame a legitimate wife? If you are that pissed off that the wife is happy, your fight should be with the husband who continues to make his wife happy, when he has you. Women need to have each other’s back. We cannot inflict emotional wounds on each other and join the #womensupportingwomen movement. As a side chick, you are not supporting your fellow woman because your act destroys a home that was built by God (church) and elders (traditional rites). If you must use your powers as a woman, use it for good and not to store up condemnation for your future lineage. You are better than being referred to and being made a side dish. You my dear are a life-giver NOT a home breaker.